boys.

I have not been a very big fan of boys lately, but there is one little one who seems to have captured my heart.  I have been babysitting little Brett for about a month now, and he is just a light in my sometimes dim world.  No matter how bad my day could be, when I go and play with Brett for a couple hours, all my worries and stresses seem to melt away.  It's amazing how such a little person can make me feel so calm, and maybe even a little small myself.  I definitely always enjoy my nights with my favorite little boy.

and hopefully he enjoys me too.

happy.

It's such a simple word with so many meanings. Happy is different to everyone.  To me, right now, happy is contentment.  I am simply content with my life and how I am currently leading it.  I'm taking life as it comes, one day at a time.  To me, happy is sitting on a pumpkin.  It's as simple as that.

new hair

I love the feeling right after I get my hair newly dyed and styled.  I had the pleasure of enjoying this feeling yesterday.  There was also a huge storm here with hurricane force winds and power outages everywhere so I was hoping that the power wouldnt go out before my appointment.  So when 3:30 rolled around and I was sitting in the stylist chair with the bib around me and dye in my hair I was one happy customer.  And then right when I was getting comfortable, the power goes out.

This was kinda like when whenever you decide to finally wash your car, it decides to rain the next day.

Well the power persisted in not coming back on and my hairdresser was just about to put the shampoo in my hair when low and behold it came back on!  I was very happy that she wasn't going to have to trim my hair in the near dark, who know how that would have turned out.  But luck was on my side and she was able to trim and style it all in full light. 

And I must say it turned out pretty well, and I hope he gets extremely jealous when he sees it.

:)

Ignorance is your new best friend

This past week has sucked to say the least.  I have had to deal with my first heartbreak, and it is not easy.
But I am a strong, independent woman who is surrounded by people who truly love me.

Paramore knows what I'm feeling:

If I'm a bad person, you don't like me

Well I guess I'll make my own way
It's the circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me,
Well sentence me to another life


Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same (No! )
We're not the same (No! )
Oh we're not the same
Yeah, the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good (Hey! )
It's good (Hey! )
It's good


Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out


You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

 And this is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person, but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself


Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same (No! )
We're not the same (No! )
Oh we're not the same


Yeah, the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good (Hey! )
It's good (Hey! )
It's good


Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out


Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend

 Well you treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out


You treat me just like another stranger
Well it's nice to meet you sir
I guess I'll go
I best be on my way out

Nomad

Well I have moved again. In my eighteen years of living this is now my nineteenth residence.  You would think that by now I would be a pro at packing and unpacking and cleaning and organizing...well think again.

Moving is a lot of work, and I tend to put it all off to the last minute every time I have done it.  I hate boxes, and I hate cleaning.  I hate lifting and stacking.  I hate driving and tying things down.  I hate packing and unpacking and putting things in their place.  I hate every little thing about moving.  I hate switching banks and grocery stores.  I hate losing things.

It seems like I just cant stay away from moving around, I'm some what of a nomad, constantly changing where I lay my head.  And the worst part is I know this isn't going to be my last move.

Dear Whoever Invents College Classrooms,

Today I realized just how important sleep is to a college student. 

People aren't kidding when they say that college kids can become very sleep deprived very fast.  It was of course my own fault for putting off writing an english paper until the last minute, and of course forcing myself to stay awake to finish it last night, oh and to watch the vma's... Needless to say I felt like some sort of walking dead all day at school.  But I also noticed that I was not the only one who was a little sleepy.  I walked into the library and spotted more than one "kid" sleeping in the reading chairs, or casually laying their head down on the table for just one minute..

So I came up with a proposal for a new room that should be installed on every college campus nation wide: a nap room. 

I know it may seem like a stretch, but I think it would make things a whole lot easier.  Today after stumbling around in a daze for a while I decided my body needed some sort of rest, and because my home is so far away from school going there to lay down was not an option.  My only other solution was to take a nap in the back of my car.  This was a little awkward for a couple different reasons:

1. The back of my car is not very big which means there is little sleeping room.
2. All of the windows are crystal clear which means free viewing for everyone walking by.
3. When I woke up I had forgotten where I was for a minute, and I felt like I had been kidnapped.

In conclusion, Mr. Maker of college classrooms, please consider my proposal for a nap room, it doesnt even have to have windows.

welcome

College isn't good at making you feel welcome.  It is such a big difference from high school, a reality check, the real world crashes in all in one place: community college.

When you get to college you no longer call your teachers by Mr. or Mrs., you call them Ray or Paula.  And they aren't teachers anymore either, they're "Professors".  They start "professing" on the first day, they don't waste any time, they dive right into things.  This is when you learn how to drop classes.  This is also when you learn how to look up your professor online before you sign up for their class.

The "kids" are also different at CC (Community College).  By "kids" I am referring to the mothers, tattooed dads, and gradparents who are sprinkled in all of your classes and are more eager to learn than all the fresh-out-of-high school students that drag themselves into class at the last minute.  One thing I like about these "kids" is the fact that they don't keep track of what outfit you wear on what day and if your hair looks perfect or not, they could care less, they wouldn't even notice if you came to class in your pajamas and unwashed hair. 

Yes CC is quite a change from high school, and I havn't quite decided how I feel about it yet.  So for now I'm just stuck here trying to capture the color of my surroundings, one day at a time.